It’s humour time again I decided…..

Well, my most memorable night out and funniest too, would have to be the time we went to Sketch restaurant/night club, in London three years ago.

I arrived there with my husband, two sons, daughter-in-law and my youngest son’s girlfriend. As soon as we entered the restaurant I said, ‘OH MY GOD!! Look at him! He’s absolutely gorgeous!!’ There, sitting at a close-by table was this guy with masses of blond hair all over his face.

Well, he must have thought the same about me (haha) because as soon as they stacked the tables away for the dancing, he sprung into action. They were playing brilliant chill music and I started dancing. He joined me immediately and started chatting me up. (And yes, of course I responded!) After a bit, my youngest son, who was then age 19, walked up to him and said something. This guy, looked bewildered and went back over to his brother and mother.

I asked my son what he had said but he wouldn’t tell me. This guy then came back and said to me, ‘I know this is none of my business, but is that your boyfriend?’ I said, ‘no, he’s my son.’ He burst out laughing and went to tell him mother. She looked across at me and laughed as well. I later found out that my son had said, ‘Scuse me. How old are you?’ This guy said, ’24.’ My son then said, ‘really? Well b….r off cos that’s my mum!’

After that, I started dancing again and my daughter-in-law joined me. However, this other guy, about age 28 intervenes and starts dancing with me. I said, ‘I’m really sorry, but I’m married.’ He said, ‘You should never apologise for anything.’ THEN…
My husband taps me on the shoulder ands says, ‘what are you doing?’ I said, ‘nothing. He just started dancing with me.’ He said, ‘WELL STOP MAKING EYE CONTACT THEN!!’ I Replied, ‘I’m not – he came up from behind!!!!’

I think this night could have gone on forever, but I decided to keep a bit of a low profile as best I could. This, incidentally, was part II of the evening at Sketch. Part I you would just never believe!

Would love to know any other memorable times people have had, and here’s a wink I learnt from Andy

I hope that came out – I shall be doing lots more winks if it does!!
Ann x

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That made me laugh, Ann!! When I was in my 40s, I used to attract much younger men, and MY son was always scandalised too! Hehe!

I remember one time in Spain when Carnaval was in full swing, I was in a bar & this heavily disguised chap (everyone was in fancy dress) chatted me up like crazy, and we spent the rest of the night going from one venue to another. I never did figure out who it was! I later discovered.....it was my doctor!!! (Not yer average doctor, mind you - he was fairly young & rather gorgeous!) I felt quite embarrassed the next time I bumped into him, but we had a good laugh!

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Wow, I'm going to have to really think about this one. There's been far too many, and I'm almost embarrassed to say that probably most of them aren't really appropriate for a site about holistic living

I'll get back to you on this!

Andy

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Ha! Helen - that is pretty embarrassing. I bet you had him on your mind for a few days after!

wink wink Andy I think you should divulge your most inappropriate one!

Ann XX

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Here's a go!!

I was in my 20s; it was the early 60s and I was the Kiwi nursing at the Montreal General Hospital. (To any Canadian reading this - I loved that city). Anyhow, this particular evening I had gone to a restaurant with two fellow nurses. These guys came and seated themselves at our table. For some reason I decided I would be a Spaniard who could not speak English and that my name was Suzanne Assensio. I had no knowledge of Spanish just a bit of school girl French, but I was good at pretending and talking a sort of gibberish as if it was a foreign language. I would make it up as I went along with lots of gestures and arm throwing. This guy started chatting to me using sign language – like pointing to his watch, indicating a time and a ‘you’ ‘me’ ‘the eat sign’ - which was easy to interpret – and of course I could hear what he was saying anyway. One of the girls I was with spoke Gaelic – which of course I couldn’t understand – but she made out she was interpreting for me. So she would direct the conversation towards me in Gaelic, as if interpreting for me what he was saying, and I would reply in my gibberish and nod consent or pretend bewilderment. (There’s lots of wonderful shoulder lifting and facial changes to impart the message of bewilderment). Anyhow, the guy and I did meet up and believe it or not I kept this up for three weeks. I can still hear the voice calling out at the nurse’s home ‘Is there a Suzanne Assensio here, she’s wanted on the phone?’ Panic!! I had to find my Irish friend and get her to take the call and relay to me the details for the next date. He was from Washington D.C and was attached to the US air force. I did eventually tell him on our second to last night out as I knew he was returning home and I felt so bad about it. I didn’t want to hurt him and make him look foolish as he was a really nice guy. But much to my surprise I lived to tell the story. He laughed about it and was so impressed he bought me a beautiful bracelet. I’m so glad he had sense of humour.

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I think you sound really great fun to go out with Suzanne!!!

Ann x

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Aaaahhh, that sounds like a lovely story Suzanne!

Ann, could'nt stop laughing at your antics - could just see it all so vividly, you wicked temptress!! Love it!!

x Jan

Last edited: 10-06-2008 08:47:22 AM

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Hey...thought I would share the fun...mind you...did'nt know whether to laugh or cry at this one.....
I have been looking for work outside the home. I have worked for my hubbies business for ages and need to venture out...so when a friend of mine said that his friend's very large and well known lingerie outlet store was opening I jumped at the chance of working there (you know...cheap real nice undies)..bearing in mind the guy who owns it was desperate for people......Anyways...my son who is 22 and very good looking decided to drive me to the store so that I could give in my application....the girl takes my app and turns to my son and asks him if HE wants the job....I came away still jobless and totally deflated....
I now feel like the cat in my picture......
Debra

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OMG, Deb, even though I laughed at your story, I can appreciate how you feel.

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Hello Jon...
So, after failing another 6 jobs....Iam now babysitting for a friend of mine....at least she did'nt give me a personality test...yes....I failed those as well. Not only am I 51 years old (which is bad enough) I also have no personality....hey...some of those questions in those tests were ridiculous for the jobs I was applying for.
This question was for a locker room attendant in a very posh Spa in a hotel...and I quote.....' have you any regrets in life?'....yes....filling in a stupid personality test....
Debra

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Hi Debra, don't worry, I have copied a job application for you here, maybe you could take some pointers from it.

Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas They hired him because he was so funny.

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) !

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS O! R RECOG NITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE? On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a
fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE ..7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely.

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Hey Jon
That is so funny....I would hire him in a moment!!!

I think I may just re-apply for the spa position.....hahaha
Probably get the job!!!!
Debra
Ps I have decided that when I get back from UK in October, will sign up for classes of some sort....Iam already learning Portugues from my Brazlian friend and start American Tribal Belly dancing this week....I wonder if there is a job out there for a Portugues speaking Brit in orlando who can Belly Dance....???

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.I wonder if there is a job out there for a Portugues speaking Brit in orlando who can Belly Dance....???

I would hire you in a minute Deb.

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Looks like luck has struck Deb

Ann

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American Tribal Belly Dancing??? Oh! Tell us more....I always thought this came from the middle east - you mean the native Americans did it too??

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Hey All....
I thought so too until I saw a troupe at a festival I was attending last year. The costumes are very different to Eastern Belly Dancing - very elaborate and colourful. If you want to have a peek go to floridatribaldance.com
Iam really looking forward to the workout!!!

I would take Jon up on the offer of a job but the commuting would be a little too much - from Orlando to New Zealand...haha
Debra

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PS....
It is not Native American....it's more Gypsy type - I'll tell you more after I have been on thursday night. I may get an insight to where it originated.
Debra

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Judging by the videos, it seems to be an eclectic mix of eastern European circle dancing, Turkish belly dancing, and JLo-type choreography - all done to a modern beat!! Quite clever actually.

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What videos????????????????????????????????????????

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Looks a lot of fun....

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